OH YEAH, BIRCHBOX TIME AGAIN.
That’s right, gang, it’s a new month, and thus: Another Birchbox Men review. After TURNING IT UP last month, Birchbox has now celebrated their one year anniversary. One whole year of getting men to give a crap about their appearance and grooming habits and try some new shit every once in a while. Or provide hilarious little practical gifts that could be made in an afternoon in woodshop.
I’m looking at you, bottle opener from the first month’s box.
So, anyway. This month’s theme celebrates their one year by adopting the phrase “All Grown Up,” and the bits and pieces this month fit that theme pretty nicely.
The first item to draw my attention was the biggest of the bunch: a friggin’ BELT. The Men in Cities Two-Tone Woven Cotton Belt, to be exact. Now, I only own one belt. It’s reversible, two-toned leather, with a silver buckle. This belt is useful for me to have. This belt, however, apparently has a “vegan leather trim,” which… Given events that occurred earlier this week, I’m not going to get into that can of organic soy worms. First off: the belt is VERY long. I mean, SERIOUSLY. LONG. I’m a maybe 31 inch waist, and this damn thing loops around me one and a half times. Not complaining, mind you, but that’s a lot of slack to take over. Birchbox recommends wearing them with chinos, jeans, or shorts. I own… none of these, at the moment. So… I guess when I do, I’ll let you guys know how it works.
Next up, we have two, count ‘em, TWO pairs of Vivarati No-Show Loafer Socks. Now, I’ll admit, I’m not one to wear loafers. I’m not one to wear low-cut socks. But these bastards are COMFY. I mean, I put on the purple pair (they know me so well now), and just walked around this morning after work. SO SOFT. They even have a nice kinda rubber grippy thingie on the inside heel so as to not slip off. I think I’ll honestly just wear these as house socks. Y’know. Walkin’ ‘round the house.
Alright, next up, we get to the very first CONSUMABLE thing I’ve gotten from Birchbox, and added bonus: I’ve actually HEARD of the product before. drinkwel, the multivitamin for people who drink. I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to. Comes with the whole making-my-life-better thing I’ve been doing the last eight months or so. That said, I know the benefits of taking care of your body before and after you drink, and these will definitely come in handy at some point in my life. They’re made of a blend of about 30 different vitamins and minerals, “formulated to help your body break down alcohol.” While I would love to believe that’s 100% true, I’m skeptical at best. Empirical research will need to be done before I give this product my seal of approval.
Lastly, we have a body wash and a body scrub. The Molton Brown Re-charge Black Pepper Bodywash and the Billy Jealousy Adrenaline Junkie Energizing Scrub will be tested when I wake up and shower this afternoon, but I can give you some preliminary aspects. BOTH SMELL AMAZING. I mean, seriously, Birchbox, how the fuck did you get in my head and learn of two of my favorite scents of all time?
The black pepper wash is definitely a bit more musky than the peppermint scrub — as one would expect — but it isn’t overwhelming. Either way, super excited to have ‘em and use ‘em. More on them later.
Lastly, a little flowchart to direct you to certain portions of the Birchbox website, should you need advice or whatever on how to maintain your brilliance. It’s cute. S’about all I got to say on that.
That’s the box this month, though! Thanks for readin’, and if you like what you see, YOU CAN ALWAYS SIGN UP HERE. $20 a month for dudes, $10 a month for ladies. As you can see, one gets WAY more bang than one would expect for one’s buck.