*KSSHT* Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Strap yourselves in and prepare for ANOTHER BIRCHBOX REVIEWWWWWW.
*KSSHT*
Indeed, my friends, another month has come and gone, and I’ve got another month of Birchbox stuff to review for you. The theme this month would be “EUREKA.” Now, I got excited at first, as I thought this would come with a complimentary Wil Wheaton, but no — it’s simply… uh… “inspiration” themed.
Sure, Birchbox. Sure.
So, included in this month’s box are: two moist wipes, a facial cleanser, a facial cleanser / shaving cream, and a… Well, we’ll get to that thing in a bit.
First up, the Herban Essences Towelettes. This is one of those situations where I can’t write a full review about it until I open one up, but… I want a REASON to open it up, so… Therein lies the problem. The two scents that I received, however, were Lemon and Eucalyptus. Other scents available are: Orange, Lavender, and… Yoga? The fuck? I… don’t think I want to wipe down ANY part of me with a room full of yoga sweat, thank you very much.
Next, the Billy Jealousy Combination Code Face Moisturizer. Billy Jealousy products have yet to fully impress me (though, admittedly, the only one I’ve tried has been the scrub, and ehh), but this one is REALLY nice. Green tea and aloe vera, with a very mild scent, a nice smooth texture, and leaving me with no shiny face or really any feel of goopyness. Definitely like this stuff, but, again, it’s not the product I’d PREFER to use for moisturizing my face.
Speaking of moisturizing, the next product is the EVOLUTIONMAN Cleanse and Shave. THIS stuff, now… I haven’t used it for shaving yet (as I shaved when I woke up today and, let’s face it, I won’t NEED to shave until at least the weekend), but opening and smelling the stuff… it smells AMAZING. Like, immediate citrus scent blasting me in the face. Instant wake-up call. I’ll be using this the next time I shave, despite getting my order of Proraso in the mail today, too. God that stuff is amazing. BUT ANYWAY — so, like I was saying, citrus blast. It feels like it’d make for a nice lather, but we’ll find out by Friday if that’s the case.
Now… Onto the last item, the… unique item of the bunch. The Quirky Upright. This little gizmo is fitted to be a keychain/stylus/tablet or phone stand. Now, I personally don’t see a real need for this, especially if I’m gonna use ALL of its features. It’s a cool little concept, sure. If I feel like placing my phone upright for no real reason, it can do that. Or my finger gets… uh… tired, I guess, I could use the stylus. I need a huge fucking keychain dongle, it’s ready to spring into action. All in all, though, it might win the award for Most Useless Birchbox Item Ever — which is a sad thing to have to say for the month of innovations. I’ll try it out for a while, but if it just feels like it’s taking up space on my keychain, it’ll be out the door faster than I can say, “Fuck this shit.”
Well, that’s it for this month’s Birchbox. If you feel a desire welling in your soul for some nifty grooming and lifestyle products for a damn fine discount, you can sign up by clicking right HERE. $10 for the ladies, $20 for the fellas, and each month providing you with a veritable bounty of good stuffs to keep you smelling, looking and feeling fresh and fancy free.

*KSSHT* Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Strap yourselves in and prepare for ANOTHER BIRCHBOX REVIEWWWWWW.

*KSSHT*

Indeed, my friends, another month has come and gone, and I’ve got another month of Birchbox stuff to review for you. The theme this month would be “EUREKA.” Now, I got excited at first, as I thought this would come with a complimentary Wil Wheaton, but no — it’s simply… uh… “inspiration” themed.

Sure, Birchbox. Sure.

So, included in this month’s box are: two moist wipes, a facial cleanser, a facial cleanser / shaving cream, and a… Well, we’ll get to that thing in a bit.

First up, the Herban Essences Towelettes. This is one of those situations where I can’t write a full review about it until I open one up, but… I want a REASON to open it up, so… Therein lies the problem. The two scents that I received, however, were Lemon and Eucalyptus. Other scents available are: Orange, Lavender, and… Yoga? The fuck? I… don’t think I want to wipe down ANY part of me with a room full of yoga sweat, thank you very much.

Next, the Billy Jealousy Combination Code Face Moisturizer. Billy Jealousy products have yet to fully impress me (though, admittedly, the only one I’ve tried has been the scrub, and ehh), but this one is REALLY nice. Green tea and aloe vera, with a very mild scent, a nice smooth texture, and leaving me with no shiny face or really any feel of goopyness. Definitely like this stuff, but, again, it’s not the product I’d PREFER to use for moisturizing my face.

Speaking of moisturizing, the next product is the EVOLUTIONMAN Cleanse and Shave. THIS stuff, now… I haven’t used it for shaving yet (as I shaved when I woke up today and, let’s face it, I won’t NEED to shave until at least the weekend), but opening and smelling the stuff… it smells AMAZING. Like, immediate citrus scent blasting me in the face. Instant wake-up call. I’ll be using this the next time I shave, despite getting my order of Proraso in the mail today, too. God that stuff is amazing. BUT ANYWAY — so, like I was saying, citrus blast. It feels like it’d make for a nice lather, but we’ll find out by Friday if that’s the case.

Now… Onto the last item, the… unique item of the bunch. The Quirky Upright. This little gizmo is fitted to be a keychain/stylus/tablet or phone stand. Now, I personally don’t see a real need for this, especially if I’m gonna use ALL of its features. It’s a cool little concept, sure. If I feel like placing my phone upright for no real reason, it can do that. Or my finger gets… uh… tired, I guess, I could use the stylus. I need a huge fucking keychain dongle, it’s ready to spring into action. All in all, though, it might win the award for Most Useless Birchbox Item Ever — which is a sad thing to have to say for the month of innovations. I’ll try it out for a while, but if it just feels like it’s taking up space on my keychain, it’ll be out the door faster than I can say, “Fuck this shit.”

Well, that’s it for this month’s Birchbox. If you feel a desire welling in your soul for some nifty grooming and lifestyle products for a damn fine discount, you can sign up by clicking right HERE. $10 for the ladies, $20 for the fellas, and each month providing you with a veritable bounty of good stuffs to keep you smelling, looking and feeling fresh and fancy free.

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAAAY. The new month is upon us, September hath come, which means it’s time for another Birchbox review! Hooraaaaay!
This month’s theme is, apparently, Adventure Ready. Travelling being at a high around this time (though, honestly, it’s… kinda dying down right now), they’ve essentially sent me a nice mini-travel kit to keep me supplied for whatever gets thrown my way while travelling. It’s also the most blissfully varied collection I’ve gotten from them, including a sponge wax (hair styling product), a shaving cream, a face/body cleanser, a travel guide for Chicago, and a friggin’ linen SCARF.
Also, this will be a unique review, as I’ve already used ALL OF THE PRODUCTS THIS TIME! Hooray!
Starting with the sponge wax, it’s the Hanz de Fuko Sponge Wax. If you, like me, had never HEARD of a sponge wax until now, you’re in for a treat. It’s kinda like a pomade and a styling gel had a baby, and the baby was made of… sponge wax, I don’t know, I had something there but I lost it. ANYWAY, this stuff has some pretty decent holding capabilities. I used about a dime-sized dollop and dang if it didn’t get all my hair. It has a smokey, almost peaty smell to it, which, given last night’s scotch-fueled frenzy, was semi-unwelcome at this time. Most of the rest of the time, though, it’d be quite nice. It’s otherwise lovely feeling on the hands, and leaves virtually no residue behind for me to wipe off on a towel.Next, the Vitamine & Sea Shaving Cream. It came in a tiny glass jar, which made getting to the shaving cream a little bit of a challenge. The shaving cream itself was a bit difficult to lather, but once I got it on, it was quite pleasant. It left my skin feeling smooth and refreshed, but it still isn’t the best shaving cream I’ve used from Birchbox. It may have even been helped by…
VitaMan Face & Body Cleanser. I washed my face first with this gel, as well as my neck and hands. The silky smooth texture of the gel is honestly VERY refreshing, and a warm citrus smell just envelops you in its brightly scented embrace. Just… REALLY pleasant. It took awhile to lather, which was the only mild annoyance I experienced with it, but otherwise? Just lovely.
Last two products I’ve looked at/worn for a bit, but are going to need to wait for a while before I use them in earnest. First of which is the Luxe City Guide: Chicago. Inside is a listing of restaurants, hotels, bars, spas, activities, art museums and other very useful directories of things to do in Chicago. Seeing as Chicago is one of the four Major American Cities I’ve wanted to visit, this will prove very useful when I finally get my ass over there. Maybe sometime next year. I’m thinking Spring.
Lastly, and most impressively, the Apolis Washed Linen Scarf. The light linen fabric is perfect for any time spent in the summer heat, while also capable of keeping one warm in the “winter” of Los Angeles. I can’t imagine using it anywhere else, though, so… practicality goes down a notch there. It’s VERY long, which is one of the things I look for in a scarf — and no, that isn’t just the Whovian in me talking, I genuinely dig long scarves — at approximately my height with my arms stretched out (so 82”). I do wish they’d sent me the grey one rather than the white with red trim, but I still have some things this will go with. It’ll definitely get used.Well, that’s the box for THIS month. Don’t forget, if you want to sign up for Birchbox, you simply need to click on THESE WORDS, and the magic of the internet will whisk you away to a magical place of better grooming and lifestyle products. $20 for a men’s box, $10 for a ladies, and for every product you review, you get ten points. At 100 points, you get $10 off a full-sized product purchase.
For this month’s tally, the scarf and the guide to Chicago alone are worth $52. So… I’d say definitely worth the scratch. ‘Til next month, ladies and gents.

SUNDAY, SUNDAYSUNDAAAY. The new month is upon us, September hath come, which means it’s time for another Birchbox review! Hooraaaaay!

This month’s theme is, apparently, Adventure Ready. Travelling being at a high around this time (though, honestly, it’s… kinda dying down right now), they’ve essentially sent me a nice mini-travel kit to keep me supplied for whatever gets thrown my way while travelling. It’s also the most blissfully varied collection I’ve gotten from them, including a sponge wax (hair styling product), a shaving cream, a face/body cleanser, a travel guide for Chicago, and a friggin’ linen SCARF.

Also, this will be a unique review, as I’ve already used ALL OF THE PRODUCTS THIS TIME! Hooray!

Starting with the sponge wax, it’s the Hanz de Fuko Sponge Wax. If you, like me, had never HEARD of a sponge wax until now, you’re in for a treat. It’s kinda like a pomade and a styling gel had a baby, and the baby was made of… sponge wax, I don’t know, I had something there but I lost it. ANYWAY, this stuff has some pretty decent holding capabilities. I used about a dime-sized dollop and dang if it didn’t get all my hair. It has a smokey, almost peaty smell to it, which, given last night’s scotch-fueled frenzy, was semi-unwelcome at this time. Most of the rest of the time, though, it’d be quite nice. It’s otherwise lovely feeling on the hands, and leaves virtually no residue behind for me to wipe off on a towel.

Next, the Vitamine & Sea Shaving Cream. It came in a tiny glass jar, which made getting to the shaving cream a little bit of a challenge. The shaving cream itself was a bit difficult to lather, but once I got it on, it was quite pleasant. It left my skin feeling smooth and refreshed, but it still isn’t the best shaving cream I’ve used from Birchbox. It may have even been helped by…

VitaMan Face & Body Cleanser. I washed my face first with this gel, as well as my neck and hands. The silky smooth texture of the gel is honestly VERY refreshing, and a warm citrus smell just envelops you in its brightly scented embrace. Just… REALLY pleasant. It took awhile to lather, which was the only mild annoyance I experienced with it, but otherwise? Just lovely.

Last two products I’ve looked at/worn for a bit, but are going to need to wait for a while before I use them in earnest. First of which is the Luxe City Guide: Chicago. Inside is a listing of restaurants, hotels, bars, spas, activities, art museums and other very useful directories of things to do in Chicago. Seeing as Chicago is one of the four Major American Cities I’ve wanted to visit, this will prove very useful when I finally get my ass over there. Maybe sometime next year. I’m thinking Spring.

Lastly, and most impressively, the Apolis Washed Linen Scarf. The light linen fabric is perfect for any time spent in the summer heat, while also capable of keeping one warm in the “winter” of Los Angeles. I can’t imagine using it anywhere else, though, so… practicality goes down a notch there. It’s VERY long, which is one of the things I look for in a scarf — and no, that isn’t just the Whovian in me talking, I genuinely dig long scarves — at approximately my height with my arms stretched out (so 82”). I do wish they’d sent me the grey one rather than the white with red trim, but I still have some things this will go with. It’ll definitely get used.

Well, that’s the box for THIS month. Don’t forget, if you want to sign up for Birchbox, you simply need to click on THESE WORDS, and the magic of the internet will whisk you away to a magical place of better grooming and lifestyle products. $20 for a men’s box, $10 for a ladies, and for every product you review, you get ten points. At 100 points, you get $10 off a full-sized product purchase.

For this month’s tally, the scarf and the guide to Chicago alone are worth $52. So… I’d say definitely worth the scratch. ‘Til next month, ladies and gents.

WE’RE NOW BALLS-DEEP INTO SUMMER, AND YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS: BIRCHBOX TIME.
THAT’S RI— Y’know, the last three months, I’ve started the second paragraph with “that’s right.” NO MORE. From now on, it shall be… “And so it was decreed.”
And so it was decreed, that upon the end of the last and the beginning of the next, a Mens’ Birchbox would be delivered unto me, and yea verily, I wouldst tell the people of the wonders contained in the vassal of otherworldly delights.
This month’s theme was “Serve It Up.” Basically stating that it was about time to step up the game on my culinary pursuits.
Psh. Please. Should’ve done this while Hannibal was still on the air.
Anyway, so the only culinary-related item in this month’s box was the crazy-awesome Roosevelt Supply Canvas Apron. It looks like a welders’ apron, but without all the weight and protective powers behind such a device. It has two pockets, a leather top strap, and a side lacing buckle reminiscent of the strap tie on the back of a vest. Gentlemen, you know what I speak of, and — apparently — it’s important to know how to lace those damn things up. Who knew.
Regardless, I’m quite a fan of this little addition to my already extensive apron collection. Variety IS the spice of life, after all.
Moving past the culinary section of this culinary and bar themed month, we have a new cologne, face oil, bodywash, an SPF 30 face… stick… And Oh. Look. A familiar face.
The new cologne is English Laundry’s Riviera Eau de Toilette. Now, amazingly enough, I actually KNOW this brand — but not for their fragrances. I’m a fan of their clothing brand. I own a pair of slacks from them that just so happen to make my gluteus maximus and gluteus minimus look fanTASTIC. Picture not included. That said, I was quite excited to get a cologne from these fine people. Upon first scent, I notice a pretty heavy citrus smell, coupled with a kind of woody, peppery afterscent. Very warm, very Summer-smelling. All in all, I’m quite happy with it and this is the second cologne sample from Birchbox that I will hoard like nobody’s fucking business.
The face oil, Æ by Plant, is… interesting, to say the least. I use an oil blend myself as a moisturizer, custom-designed by my massage therapist, Caitlin O’Connor (free plug, Cait!). *ahem* Mine is working a lovely orange scent to it, where this face oil is a little more… harshly scented. With the woody bite of rosemary and a highly aggressive ginger splash, it’s definitely a combination not to be trifled with. I will try it as a facial oil sometime soon, though.
Next, the bodywash, Mt. Sapola Lemongrass Bodywash. Well, I can say one thing for sure: It sure as fuck is lemongrass. I mean, gadDAMN. Granted, I’m not the biggest lemongrass fan, but still. The alternate scent I could’ve gotten was “Oriental Wood.” Tee hee. I’ll test this out as a bodywash later, as well.
Now for the face… stick. Raw Materials Mini Face Stick SPF 30. If it wasn’t clear from my ellipsis between the words “face” and “stick,” this product feels a little… off for me. I mean, it’s shaped like a lip balm, and it’s supposed to be used as such… As well as for your nose and the rest of your face. Somehow. I just don’t see why I would use this compared to regular sunblock with a higher SPF — but that’s my fair skinned self talking. The texture is also a little bizarrely oily, so… Not exactly thrilled with this one.
And last — and definitely — least, another stick of Lucky Tiger Peppermint Lip Balm. Seeing as I reviewed it last month, I’m foregoing a link to the actual product page and going with a link to LAST MONTH’S REVIEW.
Alright, so that’s the August Birchbox. If you like what you’re seeing — and, again, the bargain in this month’s box is pretty damn crazy, if you ask me  — you can subscribe to their monthly service by clicking here. It’s $20 a month for the men’s box, $10 a month for the women’s.
Thanks for reading! You stay classy, Internet.

WE’RE NOW BALLS-DEEP INTO SUMMER, AND YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS: BIRCHBOX TIME.


THAT’S RI— Y’know, the last three months, I’ve started the second paragraph with “that’s right.” NO MORE. From now on, it shall be… “And so it was decreed.”

And so it was decreed, that upon the end of the last and the beginning of the next, a Mens’ Birchbox would be delivered unto me, and yea verily, I wouldst tell the people of the wonders contained in the vassal of otherworldly delights.

This month’s theme was “Serve It Up.” Basically stating that it was about time to step up the game on my culinary pursuits.

Psh. Please. Should’ve done this while Hannibal was still on the air.

Anyway, so the only culinary-related item in this month’s box was the crazy-awesome Roosevelt Supply Canvas Apron. It looks like a welders’ apron, but without all the weight and protective powers behind such a device. It has two pockets, a leather top strap, and a side lacing buckle reminiscent of the strap tie on the back of a vest. Gentlemen, you know what I speak of, and — apparently — it’s important to know how to lace those damn things up. Who knew.

Regardless, I’m quite a fan of this little addition to my already extensive apron collection. Variety IS the spice of life, after all.

Moving past the culinary section of this culinary and bar themed month, we have a new cologne, face oil, bodywash, an SPF 30 face… stick… And Oh. Look. A familiar face.

The new cologne is English Laundry’s Riviera Eau de Toilette. Now, amazingly enough, I actually KNOW this brand — but not for their fragrances. I’m a fan of their clothing brand. I own a pair of slacks from them that just so happen to make my gluteus maximus and gluteus minimus look fanTASTIC. Picture not included. That said, I was quite excited to get a cologne from these fine people. Upon first scent, I notice a pretty heavy citrus smell, coupled with a kind of woody, peppery afterscent. Very warm, very Summer-smelling. All in all, I’m quite happy with it and this is the second cologne sample from Birchbox that I will hoard like nobody’s fucking business.

The face oil, Æ by Plant, is… interesting, to say the least. I use an oil blend myself as a moisturizer, custom-designed by my massage therapist, Caitlin O’Connor (free plug, Cait!). *ahem* Mine is working a lovely orange scent to it, where this face oil is a little more… harshly scented. With the woody bite of rosemary and a highly aggressive ginger splash, it’s definitely a combination not to be trifled with. I will try it as a facial oil sometime soon, though.

Next, the bodywash, Mt. Sapola Lemongrass Bodywash. Well, I can say one thing for sure: It sure as fuck is lemongrass. I mean, gadDAMN. Granted, I’m not the biggest lemongrass fan, but still. The alternate scent I could’ve gotten was “Oriental Wood.” Tee hee. I’ll test this out as a bodywash later, as well.

Now for the face… stick. Raw Materials Mini Face Stick SPF 30. If it wasn’t clear from my ellipsis between the words “face” and “stick,” this product feels a little… off for me. I mean, it’s shaped like a lip balm, and it’s supposed to be used as such… As well as for your nose and the rest of your face. Somehow. I just don’t see why I would use this compared to regular sunblock with a higher SPF — but that’s my fair skinned self talking. The texture is also a little bizarrely oily, so… Not exactly thrilled with this one.

And last — and definitely — least, another stick of Lucky Tiger Peppermint Lip Balm. Seeing as I reviewed it last month, I’m foregoing a link to the actual product page and going with a link to LAST MONTH’S REVIEW.

Alright, so that’s the August Birchbox. If you like what you’re seeing — and, again, the bargain in this month’s box is pretty damn crazy, if you ask me — you can subscribe to their monthly service by clicking here. It’s $20 a month for the men’s box, $10 a month for the women’s.

Thanks for reading! You stay classy, Internet.

COMIN’ AT YOU FULL STEAM, IT’S JULY BIRCHBOX TIME.
That’s right, it has been yet another month, and so the time has come for another Birchbox review — and let me tell you, this month? I was super excited. Why? It’s Suits themed. Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t really watch the show. I’ve seen a few clips, I’ve liked what I’ve seen, but let’s be honest with each other: I have a huge-ass backlog of TV shows to catch up on, I can’t just be adding shows willy nilly to watch. I’VE GOT TWIN PEAKS TO CATCH UP ON.
Whatever the case may be, however, I am a man who loves wearing suits. I do. I can’t get enough of ‘em. Black, grey, navy, pinstripes, solids, tweed — love ‘em all. Considering my most recent suit investment, this could not have come at a better time. So, let’s begin with the NOT suit-related products first.

To begin, we have Lucky Tiger Peppermint Lip Balm. I have now received two peppermint lip balms from Birchbox, so the trend is getting a wee tiny bit old — bizarre to hear from a dude who friggin’ loves peppermint, but, still. This lip balm is still pretty nice. A gentle cooling sensation from the peppermint oil that’s in it, as well as a lack of any real greasyness, makes this a pretty ideal lip balm for the dry California Summer heat.

Despite the current 43% humidty. Ugh, guh bleh.

Next, the GO247 Shampoo. If you’ll all recall, back in my very first review, I got a bottle of the GO247 shaving cream. I still have a mostly full bottle, because I DON’T. FRIGGIN’. GROW. FACIAL HAIR. Grr. That said, I’m looking forward to trying out their sulfite- and paraben-free shampoo. As of this writing, I haven’t taken a shower yet today, so… I’ll get back to you all on that later.
 
Alright, lastly, before the real suit-related activities commence, we have Niche for Men Deodorizing Wipes. Again, I’m not gonna be able to give this product a full review ‘til I actually NEED it, but I’ll definitely keep one of the pouches with me at all times. Apparently, it’s just a moist towelette for your armpits — and that’s pretty awesome, in my book.
 
ALRIGHT. So, there were a few things I COULD have gotten in my Birchbox that I didn’t, and there is definitely a part of me that kinda wishes I had, but frankly, I got the two things I most wanted, so… I’m not even mad.
 
Würkin Stiffs Power Stays might be one of the coolest things I’ve gotten in all of my Birchboxes. Not even gonna lie. They’re made of a corrosion-resistant, airport-proof metal alloy that have an incredible tensile strength, and are paired with neodymium magnets so they friggin’ STAY PUT under your collars. I won’t wear a suit ever again without them. For serious. Insanely snazzy, and a helluva deal considering the Men’s Birchbox is only $20, and the pair of those ALONE is the cost of the box.

Most importantly, for me at least, is the Roosevelt Supply Card Case. I’ve been having the hardest goddamn time figuring out how to carry my wallet when it comes to going out in a suit. Most of the time, I take my ID, a credit card, some cash — that’s it. Loosely floating in my pocket, because I don’t want a giant friggin’ BULGE sticking out of my side coat pocket. This, on the other hand, is a useful, sleek, practical alternative to that abysmal fate. My only complaint was being unable to choose the damn color of the case. The Camel color will do, admittedly, but… Color choices. Aside from that, though, the case will be useful for whenever I finally get some business cards made — and frankly, that’s more important to me than the color. Functionality, people. It doesn’t have to be unstylish.

SO, that’s July’s Birchbox. If you’re loving what you see (and you know you do, otherwise why would you have read this far?), you’re welcome to sign up over here! Men’s Birchbox is $20 a month, Ladies’ is $10, and as you can tell, a HUGE friggin’ bargain. For shits and giggles, I tallied up the value of this month’s box. For $20, I got a $14 bottle of shampoo, a $20 set of collar stays, a $25 leather card case, a $6 tube of lip balm (which, when I see that, makes my jaw drop a bit), and a $3 sample ($15 for five 2-packs) of underarm wipes.

$20 got me $68 worth of stuff!

Seriously. Holy crap.

COMIN’ AT YOU FULL STEAM, IT’S JULY BIRCHBOX TIME.

That’s right, it has been yet another month, and so the time has come for another Birchbox review — and let me tell you, this month? I was super excited. Why? It’s Suits themed. Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t really watch the show. I’ve seen a few clips, I’ve liked what I’ve seen, but let’s be honest with each other: I have a huge-ass backlog of TV shows to catch up on, I can’t just be adding shows willy nilly to watch. I’VE GOT TWIN PEAKS TO CATCH UP ON.

Whatever the case may be, however, I am a man who loves wearing suits. I do. I can’t get enough of ‘em. Black, grey, navy, pinstripes, solids, tweed — love ‘em all. Considering my most recent suit investment, this could not have come at a better time. So, let’s begin with the NOT suit-related products first.
To begin, we have Lucky Tiger Peppermint Lip BalmI have now received two peppermint lip balms from Birchbox, so the trend is getting a wee tiny bit old — bizarre to hear from a dude who friggin’ loves peppermint, but, still. This lip balm is still pretty nice. A gentle cooling sensation from the peppermint oil that’s in it, as well as a lack of any real greasyness, makes this a pretty ideal lip balm for the dry California Summer heat.
Despite the current 43% humidty. Ugh, guh bleh.
Next, the GO247 Shampoo. If you’ll all recall, back in my very first review, I got a bottle of the GO247 shaving cream. I still have a mostly full bottle, because I DON’T. FRIGGIN’. GROW. FACIAL HAIR. Grr. That said, I’m looking forward to trying out their sulfite- and paraben-free shampoo. As of this writing, I haven’t taken a shower yet today, so… I’ll get back to you all on that later.
 
Alright, lastly, before the real suit-related activities commence, we have Niche for Men Deodorizing Wipes. Again, I’m not gonna be able to give this product a full review ‘til I actually NEED it, but I’ll definitely keep one of the pouches with me at all times. Apparently, it’s just a moist towelette for your armpits — and that’s pretty awesome, in my book.
 
ALRIGHT. So, there were a few things I COULD have gotten in my Birchbox that I didn’t, and there is definitely a part of me that kinda wishes I had, but frankly, I got the two things I most wanted, so… I’m not even mad.
 
Würkin Stiffs Power Stays might be one of the coolest things I’ve gotten in all of my Birchboxes. Not even gonna lie. They’re made of a corrosion-resistant, airport-proof metal alloy that have an incredible tensile strength, and are paired with neodymium magnets so they friggin’ STAY PUT under your collars. I won’t wear a suit ever again without them. For serious. Insanely snazzy, and a helluva deal considering the Men’s Birchbox is only $20, and the pair of those ALONE is the cost of the box.
Most importantly, for me at least, is the Roosevelt Supply Card CaseI’ve been having the hardest goddamn time figuring out how to carry my wallet when it comes to going out in a suit. Most of the time, I take my ID, a credit card, some cash — that’s it. Loosely floating in my pocket, because I don’t want a giant friggin’ BULGE sticking out of my side coat pocket. This, on the other hand, is a useful, sleek, practical alternative to that abysmal fate. My only complaint was being unable to choose the damn color of the case. The Camel color will do, admittedly, but… Color choices. Aside from that, though, the case will be useful for whenever I finally get some business cards made — and frankly, that’s more important to me than the color. Functionality, people. It doesn’t have to be unstylish.
SO, that’s July’s Birchbox. If you’re loving what you see (and you know you do, otherwise why would you have read this far?), you’re welcome to sign up over here! Men’s Birchbox is $20 a month, Ladies’ is $10, and as you can tell, a HUGE friggin’ bargain. For shits and giggles, I tallied up the value of this month’s box. For $20, I got a $14 bottle of shampoo, a $20 set of collar stays, a $25 leather card case, a $6 tube of lip balm (which, when I see that, makes my jaw drop a bit), and a $3 sample ($15 for five 2-packs) of underarm wipes.
$20 got me $68 worth of stuff!
Seriously. Holy crap.
OhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH SNAP!
That’s right, another month, ANOTHER BIRCHBOX. So, in my continuing series on evaluating the Mens’ (and also available in Ladies’) grooming and lifestyle products, we’ll be tackling June’s box. Its theme? Apparently this month is #EscapeArtist — And what a more appropriate time! It’s Summer! Everyone’s vacationing! Except the Australians.
They’re in the middle of winter.
Lucky fuckers.
ANYWAY. Onto the box! As you can see, there appears to be LESS in the box this time. And you’d be WRONG. See, normally Birchbox gives me about five products to try out and review on their website. This time, they gave me four — but TWO of one of them. So, getting the ball rolling, we’ll start on the double prize in this month’s box.
Richer Poorer Socks. The two styles I was given were the Seussian Red with White stripes (which I can’t seem to find on the website, strangely enough), and what is listed in the color selections as “Trekker - Grey,” which are a mix of grey socks with light blue pixelated pyramids outlined with yellow stripes. Considering I’m WEARING said socks, I have to say they are DAMN comfy. I mean, they’re just lovely to wear. However, I have one complaint about the current pair that I’m wearing — the sewing lining is akin to older types of socks with sewn patterns in them, in that the lining sticks out. So, you stick your feet in, your toes get tangled, you snag some shit, and WHOOPS. Torn socks.
No bueno.
The Seussian socks have no such problem, but I was wearing grey pants earlier and just… didn’t take the socks off. Eh. C’est la vie.
Next up, we come to the one other product I was really excited about in the box, the Old Spice Pure Soap Bar. Now, it is NO secret that I’m an Old Spice man. I have been for a good three or four years now; I love the brand, I love the smells, I love the ad campaigns, and I am envious of all who work on them. 
I’m lookin’ at you, Isaiah Mustafa.
So, getting the bar soap was pretty exciting for me, and let me tell you… It IS a bar of soap.
What? You want more detail? Well, uh… hrm. It smells nice. Smells like soap, in fact! It, uh… It has a good hand feel. Probably would feel good being rubbed… on your arms. Okay, I’ll be honest, I just don’t care about bar soaps. I admit it! I don’t USE bar soaps except when I’m in a hotel and that’s all that’s in the little shower that’s provided for me! I’m very much exclusively a loofah and body wash kinda gent, and I am okay with that. Hell, that Molton Brown bodywash from last month? I STILL HAVE SOME LEFT. I’ve been friggin’ hoarding that stuff now like crazy, because I love how much it smells. Bar soap? SORRY. NOT IMPRESSING ME.
I’ll go back to my Old Spice Fiji bodywash.
ANYWAY, so, onto the last two products, both from Italy, I might add. We have the Marvis Toothpaste and the Proraso Shaving Cream. The toothpaste I have yet to actually brush my teeth with, so when I do, I’ll write about it — but it smells just delightful. Clean white toothpaste, no stripes or decoration about it — just a simple, minty toothpaste, and I can support that.
The shaving cream, on the other hand… Well… Let’s be honest.

I took this picture after not shaving for a good two days. Do I look like I need to shave more than that?
I didn’t think so. So, I need to actually send a message to Birchbox and just flat out ask them if they need me to review their shaving products with my pubic hair or something, because SERIOUSLY. THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SHAVE, GUYS. THAT’S IT.
I don’t even really grow LEG hair, for fuck’s sake! I mean, I do… but, still.
… Shaving cream review. Right. Uh, it uh… Doesn’t really have a smell. Can’t review it on that basis. Firm texture. I guess it’ll do. Well, next time I shave, I’ll write about it, I guess. And how it helps me manscape.
ANYWAY, that’s this month’s Birchbox! Thanks for reading, and if you enjoyed what you saw here (or in the last few months’ reviews), go right ahead and sign on up over hyar! $20 a month for dudes, $10 a month for ladytype parsons, and you can go and fill that medicine cabinet with more than just a few disposable razors and that one bottle of emergency smelly-stuff for when you run out of deodorant!

OhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH SNAP!

That’s right, another month, ANOTHER BIRCHBOX. So, in my continuing series on evaluating the Mens’ (and also available in Ladies’) grooming and lifestyle products, we’ll be tackling June’s box. Its theme? Apparently this month is #EscapeArtist — And what a more appropriate time! It’s Summer! Everyone’s vacationing! Except the Australians.

They’re in the middle of winter.

Lucky fuckers.

ANYWAY. Onto the box! As you can see, there appears to be LESS in the box this time. And you’d be WRONG. See, normally Birchbox gives me about five products to try out and review on their website. This time, they gave me four — but TWO of one of them. So, getting the ball rolling, we’ll start on the double prize in this month’s box.

Richer Poorer Socks. The two styles I was given were the Seussian Red with White stripes (which I can’t seem to find on the website, strangely enough), and what is listed in the color selections as “Trekker - Grey,” which are a mix of grey socks with light blue pixelated pyramids outlined with yellow stripes. Considering I’m WEARING said socks, I have to say they are DAMN comfy. I mean, they’re just lovely to wear. However, I have one complaint about the current pair that I’m wearing — the sewing lining is akin to older types of socks with sewn patterns in them, in that the lining sticks out. So, you stick your feet in, your toes get tangled, you snag some shit, and WHOOPS. Torn socks.

No bueno.

The Seussian socks have no such problem, but I was wearing grey pants earlier and just… didn’t take the socks off. Eh. C’est la vie.

Next up, we come to the one other product I was really excited about in the box, the Old Spice Pure Soap Bar. Now, it is NO secret that I’m an Old Spice man. I have been for a good three or four years now; I love the brand, I love the smells, I love the ad campaigns, and I am envious of all who work on them. 

I’m lookin’ at you, Isaiah Mustafa.

So, getting the bar soap was pretty exciting for me, and let me tell you… It IS a bar of soap.

What? You want more detail? Well, uh… hrm. It smells nice. Smells like soap, in fact! It, uh… It has a good hand feel. Probably would feel good being rubbed… on your arms. Okay, I’ll be honest, I just don’t care about bar soaps. I admit it! I don’t USE bar soaps except when I’m in a hotel and that’s all that’s in the little shower that’s provided for me! I’m very much exclusively a loofah and body wash kinda gent, and I am okay with that. Hell, that Molton Brown bodywash from last month? I STILL HAVE SOME LEFT. I’ve been friggin’ hoarding that stuff now like crazy, because I love how much it smells. Bar soap? SORRY. NOT IMPRESSING ME.

I’ll go back to my Old Spice Fiji bodywash.

ANYWAY, so, onto the last two products, both from Italy, I might add. We have the Marvis Toothpaste and the Proraso Shaving Cream. The toothpaste I have yet to actually brush my teeth with, so when I do, I’ll write about it — but it smells just delightful. Clean white toothpaste, no stripes or decoration about it — just a simple, minty toothpaste, and I can support that.

The shaving cream, on the other hand… Well… Let’s be honest.

I took this picture after not shaving for a good two days. Do I look like I need to shave more than that?

I didn’t think so. So, I need to actually send a message to Birchbox and just flat out ask them if they need me to review their shaving products with my pubic hair or something, because SERIOUSLY. THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SHAVE, GUYS. THAT’S IT.

I don’t even really grow LEG hair, for fuck’s sake! I mean, I do… but, still.

… Shaving cream review. Right. Uh, it uh… Doesn’t really have a smell. Can’t review it on that basis. Firm texture. I guess it’ll do. Well, next time I shave, I’ll write about it, I guess. And how it helps me manscape.

ANYWAY, that’s this month’s Birchbox! Thanks for reading, and if you enjoyed what you saw here (or in the last few months’ reviews), go right ahead and sign on up over hyar! $20 a month for dudes, $10 a month for ladytype parsons, and you can go and fill that medicine cabinet with more than just a few disposable razors and that one bottle of emergency smelly-stuff for when you run out of deodorant!

OH YEAH, BIRCHBOX TIME AGAIN.
That’s right, gang, it’s a new month, and thus: Another Birchbox Men review. After TURNING IT UP last month, Birchbox has now celebrated their one year anniversary. One whole year of getting men to give a crap about their appearance and grooming habits and try some new shit every once in a while. Or provide hilarious little practical gifts that could be made in an afternoon in woodshop.
I’m looking at you, bottle opener from the first month’s box.
So, anyway. This month’s theme celebrates their one year by adopting the phrase “All Grown Up,” and the bits and pieces this month fit that theme pretty nicely.
The first item to draw my attention was the biggest of the bunch: a friggin’ BELT. The Men in Cities Two-Tone Woven Cotton Belt, to be exact. Now, I only own one belt. It’s reversible, two-toned leather, with a silver buckle. This belt is useful for me to have. This belt, however, apparently has a “vegan leather trim,” which… Given events that occurred earlier this week, I’m not going to get into that can of organic soy worms. First off: the belt is VERY long. I mean, SERIOUSLY. LONG. I’m a maybe 31 inch waist, and this damn thing loops around me one and a half times. Not complaining, mind you, but that’s a lot of slack to take over. Birchbox recommends wearing them with chinos, jeans, or shorts. I own… none of these, at the moment. So… I guess when I do, I’ll let you guys know how it works.Next up, we have two, count ‘em, TWO pairs of Vivarati No-Show Loafer Socks. Now, I’ll admit, I’m not one to wear loafers. I’m not one to wear low-cut socks. But these bastards are COMFY. I mean, I put on the purple pair (they know me so well now), and just walked around this morning after work. SO SOFT. They even have a nice kinda rubber grippy thingie on the inside heel so as to not slip off. I think I’ll honestly just wear these as house socks. Y’know. Walkin’ ‘round the house.Yeah.
Alright, next up, we get to the very first CONSUMABLE thing I’ve gotten from Birchbox, and added bonus: I’ve actually HEARD of the product before. drinkwel, the multivitamin for people who drink. I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to. Comes with the whole making-my-life-better thing I’ve been doing the last eight months or so. That said, I know the benefits of taking care of your body before and after you drink, and these will definitely come in handy at some point in my life. They’re made of a blend of about 30 different vitamins and minerals, “formulated to help your body break down alcohol.” While I would love to believe that’s 100% true, I’m skeptical at best. Empirical research will need to be done before I give this product my seal of approval.
Lastly, we have a body wash and a body scrub. The Molton Brown Re-charge Black Pepper Bodywash and the Billy Jealousy Adrenaline Junkie Energizing Scrub will be tested when I wake up and shower this afternoon, but I can give you some preliminary aspects. BOTH SMELL AMAZING. I mean, seriously, Birchbox, how the fuck did you get in my head and learn of two of my favorite scents of all time?
HOW?
The black pepper wash is definitely a bit more musky than the peppermint scrub — as one would expect — but it isn’t overwhelming. Either way, super excited to have ‘em and use ‘em. More on them later.
Lastly, a little flowchart to direct you to certain portions of the Birchbox website, should you need advice or whatever on how to maintain your brilliance. It’s cute. S’about all I got to say on that.
That’s the box this month, though! Thanks for readin’, and if you like what you see, YOU CAN ALWAYS SIGN UP HERE. $20 a month for dudes, $10 a month for ladies. As you can see, one gets WAY more bang than one would expect for one’s buck.

OH YEAH, BIRCHBOX TIME AGAIN.

That’s right, gang, it’s a new month, and thus: Another Birchbox Men review. After TURNING IT UP last month, Birchbox has now celebrated their one year anniversary. One whole year of getting men to give a crap about their appearance and grooming habits and try some new shit every once in a while. Or provide hilarious little practical gifts that could be made in an afternoon in woodshop.

I’m looking at you, bottle opener from the first month’s box.

So, anyway. This month’s theme celebrates their one year by adopting the phrase “All Grown Up,” and the bits and pieces this month fit that theme pretty nicely.

The first item to draw my attention was the biggest of the bunch: a friggin’ BELT. The Men in Cities Two-Tone Woven Cotton Belt, to be exact. Now, I only own one belt. It’s reversible, two-toned leather, with a silver buckle. This belt is useful for me to have. This belt, however, apparently has a “vegan leather trim,” which… Given events that occurred earlier this week, I’m not going to get into that can of organic soy worms. First off: the belt is VERY long. I mean, SERIOUSLY. LONG. I’m a maybe 31 inch waist, and this damn thing loops around me one and a half times. Not complaining, mind you, but that’s a lot of slack to take over. Birchbox recommends wearing them with chinos, jeans, or shorts. I own… none of these, at the moment. So… I guess when I do, I’ll let you guys know how it works.

Next up, we have two, count ‘em, TWO pairs of Vivarati No-Show Loafer Socks. Now, I’ll admit, I’m not one to wear loafers. I’m not one to wear low-cut socks. But these bastards are COMFY. I mean, I put on the purple pair (they know me so well now), and just walked around this morning after work. SO SOFT. They even have a nice kinda rubber grippy thingie on the inside heel so as to not slip off. I think I’ll honestly just wear these as house socks. Y’know. Walkin’ ‘round the house.

Yeah.

Alright, next up, we get to the very first CONSUMABLE thing I’ve gotten from Birchbox, and added bonus: I’ve actually HEARD of the product before. drinkwel, the multivitamin for people who drink. I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to. Comes with the whole making-my-life-better thing I’ve been doing the last eight months or so. That said, I know the benefits of taking care of your body before and after you drink, and these will definitely come in handy at some point in my life. They’re made of a blend of about 30 different vitamins and minerals, “formulated to help your body break down alcohol.” While I would love to believe that’s 100% true, I’m skeptical at best. Empirical research will need to be done before I give this product my seal of approval.

Lastly, we have a body wash and a body scrub. The Molton Brown Re-charge Black Pepper Bodywash and the Billy Jealousy Adrenaline Junkie Energizing Scrub will be tested when I wake up and shower this afternoon, but I can give you some preliminary aspects. BOTH SMELL AMAZING. I mean, seriously, Birchbox, how the fuck did you get in my head and learn of two of my favorite scents of all time?

HOW?

The black pepper wash is definitely a bit more musky than the peppermint scrub — as one would expect — but it isn’t overwhelming. Either way, super excited to have ‘em and use ‘em. More on them later.

Lastly, a little flowchart to direct you to certain portions of the Birchbox website, should you need advice or whatever on how to maintain your brilliance. It’s cute. S’about all I got to say on that.

That’s the box this month, though! Thanks for readin’, and if you like what you see, YOU CAN ALWAYS SIGN UP HERE. $20 a month for dudes, $10 a month for ladies. As you can see, one gets WAY more bang than one would expect for one’s buck.

HOORAY INTERNET IS BACK, TIME FOR A BIRCH BOX REVIEW.So, last month’s theme was March Madness. This month? TURN IT UP. (Appropriate, given that my subreddit is at almost 1000 subscribers. *COUGH* PRODUCT PLACEMENT *COUGH* ) As such, a bunch of the stuff is really tailored for waking your shit up, and getting your day started.So. Let’s begin with the first product: Kiehl’s Facial Fuel Energizing Face Wash. First thing I notice when I pop it open is the distinct smell of menthol and citrus. Seems a pretty nice little blend of ingredients, which I will look forward to actually using tomorrow when I wake up. Probably write about it then on the Birchbox website itself.Next up, the Yes To Carrot Lip Butter. A nice petroleum-free lip balm with mint. Mmm. It’s actually really refreshing, and as I’ve been having some serious chapped lips lately, not a moment too soon. Within seconds of applying it, the mint goes to work making my lips feel cool and moisturized — not sticky or drying out, either, as of a few minutes later. The product is made of coconut, olive, sunflower oil and beeswax, so… Pretty good stuff overall.Now, after the skincare products, we have the cologne, with Ateler Cologne Mistral Patchouli. Now, I’ve never stated outright for the world to know my opinion on patchouli. Suffice it to say, I hate the stuff. Think it smells like rancid hobo. Might be just because a rancid hobo was the last person I ever encountered who was wearing the stuff as though it were a fine shampoo. However, this patchouli is actually… not too terrible. In that I can’t smell the patchouli. It actually smells more… peppery and citrus-y. Not so much rancid hobo-y. That said, though, it still smells a bit like patchouli, and so, not my scene. Also, the sample bottle it came in was too easy to friggin’ spill all over the place, so… Definitely not thrilled about that.
The hair styling product, Oribes Supershine Moisturizing Cream, will have to wait for a full review on its own merits when I actually try the stuff. The sample comes in a one-time-use little packet, which will annoy the crap out of me when I finally DO use it. Meh.
And thus, we come to the coolest fucking thing in the box: Triple C Designs greenBOOM portable speaker. Now, this fucking thing excited me to no end when I saw it. A friggin’ tiny wooden speaker that will connect up to my phone, and thus, I can listen to music in my car again. (Long story on that front). I ripped open the box, plugged it in, and HOLY SHIT FUCKIN’ THING IS LOUD. I mean, DAMN, I had my phone on about 3/4 volume, and it about punched me in the face, volumetrically. (Disclaimer: I know that’s not the right word, but, with all due respect, fuck you — I like the sound of that.) It’s a sturdy little box of wood with a simple on/off switch on the back, a single slot for the charger (which, the instruction guide states, will let the box play continuously for about 4 hours on a full charge), and a slot for the audio jack to plug in. It’ll play ANYWHERE from ANYTHING, with a simple male/male headphone jack plug-in. Phones, iPods, even my Laptop could get a little boost in sound. Admittedly, it IS only one speaker, so there is some stereophonic sound left to be desired, but getting this in the Birchbox? TOTALLY WORTH IT.
So, that is the April Birchbox Men box. If you wanna get your own — both for ladies and for duders — CLICK THIS SHIT. Seriously. It’s pretty awesome.

HOORAY INTERNET IS BACK, TIME FOR A BIRCH BOX REVIEW.

So, last month’s theme was March Madness. This month? TURN IT UP. (Appropriate, given that my subreddit is at almost 1000 subscribers. *COUGH* PRODUCT PLACEMENT *COUGH* ) As such, a bunch of the stuff is really tailored for waking your shit up, and getting your day started.

So. Let’s begin with the first product: Kiehl’s Facial Fuel Energizing Face Wash. First thing I notice when I pop it open is the distinct smell of menthol and citrus. Seems a pretty nice little blend of ingredients, which I will look forward to actually using tomorrow when I wake up. Probably write about it then on the Birchbox website itself.

Next up, the Yes To Carrot Lip Butter. A nice petroleum-free lip balm with mint. Mmm. It’s actually really refreshing, and as I’ve been having some serious chapped lips lately, not a moment too soon. Within seconds of applying it, the mint goes to work making my lips feel cool and moisturized — not sticky or drying out, either, as of a few minutes later. The product is made of coconut, olive, sunflower oil and beeswax, so… Pretty good stuff overall.

Now, after the skincare products, we have the cologne, with Ateler Cologne Mistral Patchouli. 
Now, I’ve never stated outright for the world to know my opinion on patchouli. Suffice it to say, I hate the stuff. Think it smells like rancid hobo. Might be just because a rancid hobo was the last person I ever encountered who was wearing the stuff as though it were a fine shampoo. However, this patchouli is actually… not too terrible. In that I can’t smell the patchouli. It actually smells more… peppery and citrus-y. Not so much rancid hobo-y. That said, though, it still smells a bit like patchouli, and so, not my scene. Also, the sample bottle it came in was too easy to friggin’ spill all over the place, so… Definitely not thrilled about that.

The hair styling product, Oribes Supershine Moisturizing Cream, will have to wait for a full review on its own merits when I actually try the stuff. The sample comes in a one-time-use little packet, which will annoy the crap out of me when I finally DO use it. Meh.

And thus, we come to the coolest fucking thing in the box: Triple C Designs greenBOOM portable speaker. Now, this fucking thing excited me to no end when I saw it. A friggin’ tiny wooden speaker that will connect up to my phone, and thus, I can listen to music in my car again. (Long story on that front). I ripped open the box, plugged it in, and HOLY SHIT FUCKIN’ THING IS LOUD. I mean, DAMN, I had my phone on about 3/4 volume, and it about punched me in the face, volumetrically. (Disclaimer: I know that’s not the right word, but, with all due respect, fuck you — I like the sound of that.) It’s a sturdy little box of wood with a simple on/off switch on the back, a single slot for the charger (which, the instruction guide states, will let the box play continuously for about 4 hours on a full charge), and a slot for the audio jack to plug in. It’ll play ANYWHERE from ANYTHING, with a simple male/male headphone jack plug-in. Phones, iPods, even my Laptop could get a little boost in sound. Admittedly, it IS only one speaker, so there is some stereophonic sound left to be desired, but getting this in the Birchbox? TOTALLY WORTH IT.

So, that is the April Birchbox Men box. If you wanna get your own — both for ladies and for duders — CLICK THIS SHIT. Seriously. It’s pretty awesome.

So, in a… intriguing turn of events, I’ve found myself subscribed to Men’s Birchbox. Now, for those unfamiliar with Birchbox, it’s basically a $20-a-month monthly service that sends you five to seven sample or full sizes of beauty/grooming and lifestyle products, as well as some little gifts and nicknacks and whathaveyou. You can then go online, review them, and earn points to get $10 off products on their site for every 10 products you review.SO. This, being my first month, I got super excited about what my haul would be, and… Fuck yeah, it’s manly as hell.Bottle opener (made of wood, nails, and fuckin’ MAGNETS), bottle koozie, some awesome coasters, shaving cream from GO247 and a sample bottle of some really nice-smelling cologne from Cartier.Suffice it to say, for $20, this is a nice little haul in my mind. That shaving cream, for example, will last me the rest of the year. And that bottle opener is gonna get some use later tonight, I GUARANTEE IT.SO. If you’re at all interested, GO TO THEIR WEBSITE AND SIGN UP. It’s a pretty fuckin’ cherry gig, bra.Consumer Whore Kitts, OUT.

So, in a… intriguing turn of events, I’ve found myself subscribed to Men’s Birchbox. Now, for those unfamiliar with Birchbox, it’s basically a $20-a-month monthly service that sends you five to seven sample or full sizes of beauty/grooming and lifestyle products, as well as some little gifts and nicknacks and whathaveyou. You can then go online, review them, and earn points to get $10 off products on their site for every 10 products you review.

SO. This, being my first month, I got super excited about what my haul would be, and… Fuck yeah, it’s manly as hell.

Bottle opener (made of wood, nails, and fuckin’ MAGNETS), bottle koozie, some awesome coasters, shaving cream from GO247 and a sample bottle of some really nice-smelling cologne from Cartier.

Suffice it to say, for $20, this is a nice little haul in my mind. That shaving cream, for example, will last me the rest of the year. And that bottle opener is gonna get some use later tonight, I GUARANTEE IT.

SO. If you’re at all interested, GO TO THEIR WEBSITE AND SIGN UP. It’s a pretty fuckin’ cherry gig, bra.

Consumer Whore Kitts, OUT.